Sunday, March 28, 2010

A MATHEMATICAL TRUTH? Sure!

I have been invited to a birthday party in California on July 17th of this year. My 1948 high school class mate, Maude, will turn 80! I blogged recently about how Maude got me through senior english by writing my book reports for me. The least I can do is go to her party, right?

Although we rarely see one another, we keep in touch by email. I also have a birthday coming up next week, 79, and my first card was from Maude.

My last blog was so serious I think that sharing my last email from Maude would be in order. It goes like this:

"This comes from two math teachers with a combined total of 70 years experience. It has INDISPUTABLE MATHEMATICAL LOGIC. It also made me laugh out loud. This is a stictly mathematical viewpoint....it goes like this"

What makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer those questions.

If

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:

H A R D W O R K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11
= 98%

and

K N O W L E D G E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5
= 96%

But,

A T T I T U D E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5
= 100%

and

B U L L S H I T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20
= 103%

And, look how far ass kissing will take you

A S S K I S S I N G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7
= 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while HARD WORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its the BULLSHIT and ASS KISSING that will put you over the top.

REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM!

Why would my wife and I fly across the country to share a birthday celebration with a friend we so seldom see? It is just that this soon-to-be 80 friend is so very unique. Un Huh!

GO MAUDE!

God Bless

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