Wednesday, September 7, 2011

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND: Not Me!

It is important to remember that as women grow older, it is harder for them to maintain the same level of housekeeping as when they were younger.  When you notice this, try not to yell at them.  Some are oversensitive, and there is nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.


My name is John.  Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Lin.  When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Lin to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and the health benefits that we needed.  Shortly after she started working I noticed she was beginning to show her age.  I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Althought she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for a half hour or so before she starts dinner.  I don't yell at  her.  Instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.  I generally have lunch at the Men's Grill so going out for dinner would be unreasonable.  I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit the door.


She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating, but now it is not unusual for them to set on the table for several hours after dinner.  I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves.  I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.


Another sympton of aging is complaining.  For example it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.  But, Boys, we take'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement.  I tell her to stretch it out over one or two or even three days.  That way she won't have to rush so much.  I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any--if you know what I mean.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.  She has to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.  I try not to make a scene.  I'm a fair man.  I just tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade.  And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know I probably look like a saint for the way I support Lin.  I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.  Many men will find it difficult.  Some may find it impossible!  Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.  However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile.  After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.


John

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EDITORS NOTE:


John died suddenly on February 7th of a perforated rectum.  The police report said he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver jamed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby.  His wife, Lin, was arrested and charged with murder.  The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her not guilty, accepting her defense that somehow John, without looking, accidently sat down on his golf club.
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Walt's moral of this story:

GOLF IS A DANGEROUS GAME!

God Bless!

1 comment:

Cousin Cheryl said...

I copied this and sent it on to a friend who has a husband like this! Hope I didn't give her any ideas!