Monday, September 5, 2011

OUR MOTHERS: We Owe Them So Much!

My Mother taught me there's a time and place for everything:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.  I've just finished cleaning."

My Mother taught me religion:
"You'd better pray that comes out of the rug."

My Mother taught me about time travel:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

My Mother taught me logic:
"Because I said so, that's why!"

My Mother taught me decision making:
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My Mother taught me foresight:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My Mother taught me irony:
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about!"

My mother taught me about the science of osmosis:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

My Mother taught me about contortionism:
"Would you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?"

My Mother taught me stamina:
"You'll sit there until that spinach is gone."

My Mother taught me weather:
"This room looks like a tornado went through it!" 

My Mother taught me about hypocrisy:
"If I've told you once I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

My Mother taught me about the circle of life:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!"

My Mother taught me about envy:
"There are millions of less fortunate children who don't have lovely parents like you do."

My Mother taught me behavior modification:
"Stop acting like your father."  (Sound familiar, Mark?")

My Mother taught me about anticipation:
"Just wait until I get you home."

My Mother taught me about receiving:
"You're going to get it when your father gets home."

My Mother taught me medical science:
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to get stuck that way."

My Mother taught me humor:
"Think thats funny?  I'll give you something to laugh about."

My Mother taught me ESP:
"Put your coat on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me how to become an adult:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about genetics:
"You're just like your father's side of the family."

My Mother taught me about my roots:
"Shut the door, think you was born in a barn."

My Mother taught me wisdom:
"When you get my age, you'll understand."

and my very favorite.....
My Mother taught me justice:
"One day you're going to have kids.  I hope they all turn out just like you."

My Mother taught me choice:
"Do you want me to stop this car?"

LET'S HEAR IT FOR OUR MOM'S, HUH?

God bless you and yours.

1 comment:

Mark Pierce said...

To which I always would say, "Thank you."