Friday, September 16, 2011

PARAPROSDOKIAN? Duh!

Whut's dat ya say?

UH PAIR OF WHUT?

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.  It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.

Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it's still on the list.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:"  I put DOCTOR!
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you!

Behind every successful man is his woman.  Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Hospitality:  making your guest feel like they're home, even if you wish they were.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
MY GRANDCHILDREN, MARK AND MARY KAY'S CHILDREN
Jessica, Jonathan, Jennifer
Uplifted, Jillian
 MAY YOUR DAY BE UPLIFTING!

God bless you and yours.

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