Sunday, February 12, 2012

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: Fresh From The Hills Of West Virginia!

HUMOR   HUMOR   HUMOR   HUMOR   HUMOR   HUMOR   HUMOR   HUMOR   HUMOR   HUMOR   HUMOR 

YOUR PERSONAL GPS
You might find your life's destination better if you keep in mind that
IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, DON'T TAKE UP SKY DIVING

A CLOSED MIND GATHERS NO FOOT!

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
WEST VIRGINIA STYLE

Due to the climate of Political Correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans, and West Virginians
shall no longer be referred to as
HILLBILLIES!

You must now refer to us as 
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS

And, for your further edification......

HOW TO SPEAK POLITICALLY CORRECT
 OF YOUR WOMEN FOLK
She is not a "Babe" or a "Chick"
She is a "DOUBLE BREASTED AMERICAN"

She is not a "Screamer" or a "Moaner"
She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE"

She is not "Easy"
She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE"

She is not a "Dumb Blonde"
She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION HIGHWAY"

She has not "Been Around"
She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION"

She does not get "Drunk" or "Tipsy"
She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"

She is not a "Tramp"
She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED"

She does not have "Major League Hooters"
She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR"

She is not a "Two Bit Hooker"
She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER"

HOW TO SPEAK POLITICALLY CORRECT
ABOUT YOUR MEN FOLK

He does not have a "Beer Gut"
He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY"

He is not a "Bad Dancer"
He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN"

He does not "Get Lost All The Time"
He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS"

He is not "Balding"
He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION"

He is not a "Cradle Robber"
He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS"

He does not "Get Falling Down Drunk"
He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONIAL"

He is not a "Male Chauvinist Pig"
He has "SWINE EMPATHY"

He does not "Act Like A Total Ass"
He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION"

He is not "Afraid Of Commitment"
He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED"

He is not "Horny"
He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED"

It is not his "Crack" you see hanging out of his pants
It's "REAR CLEVAGE"

PLEASE USE YOUR BEST JUDGEMENT
WHEN REFERRING TO THESE PEOPLE,
SO AS TO MAKE IT MORE COMFORTABLE FOR THE REST OF US

........Good Lord!

ALWAYS REMEMBER, YOU ARE  UNIQUE JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE

God Bless You and Yours

GOD BLESS THE USA

(THANKS MAUDE)

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG
You might also enjoy reading
HOOKER'S UNION RULES:  Gotta Live By The Book
January 2, 2012


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