PERSONALITY TRAITS: Blog Three Of An Eight Blog Study - The Jill Syndrome

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YOUR PERSONAL GPS

You might find your life's destination better if you remember

THE VALUE OF EXPERIENCE IS NOT IN SEEING MUCH, BUT IN SEEING WISELY

William Osler

THE ART OF BEING WISE IS KNOWING WHAT TO OVERLOOK

William James

If people are like a box of crayons, then the young lady my wife, Julie, and I were associated with in a children's service years ago would easily have been a 64 color box. She was attractive and very well educated--had a masters degree related to child care.  Sad-to-say, her box of 64 crayons would all have been broken, their points gone.  This very talented person was a know-it-all.  She not only thought her way was the best way but the only way.

THE JILL SYNDROME

  As Program Director of a large, after school and summer camp program for "tweens and teens", she prepared impressive looking programs to safely keep the children until picked up by their parents.  While her programs looked wonderful, the Counselors who were to implement them were having nightmares with the kids.  Children who were respectful didn't listen and other children who did listen defied with chaos.

COURAGE IS KNOWING WHAT NOT TO FEAR - Plato

Julie, the Office Manager, suggested that I be brought in to establish order at the latch key program.  My only credentials being that I have worked well with children in scouts, church and in my family.

The problem was obvious.  Just out of school, the kids needed to let off steam, not continue conforming to a new set of rules.  If their energy could not be channeled into an acceptable venue, misbehavior  would result.

THE GREATEST WAY TO LIVE WITH HONOR

IS TO BE WHAT WE PRETEND TO BE - Socrates

Although the children came from a widely different cultural and economic background, they all had one thing in common, they were all children.  They all wanted gigantic, bold, fun and dazzling moments.  The last thing they wanted was structure and rules which engendered their misbehavior.  They had never played "Steal The Bacon" and would play it by the hours.  Big kids, little kids, boys and girls, they all loved to be silly and play dress up in whatever clothing I could round up.  They loved doing the board walk.

WALT & LATONIA
2012 Class Reunion

To a child, they wanted to dance.  They had never heard of "The Chicken Dance" and would dance it time-after-time.  If it came after the chicken dance, they would do "The Hokey Pokey", which was good for the smaller children.  Ball room dancing, they were fascinated.  The "Virginia Reel", un huh, again and again.  A progressive, slow round dance, had to be seen to be believed.

A Dance Night became a favorite week after week.  Some weeks we'd make it a Dinner and Dance Night.  No problems here and the parents were impressed.

The successful resolution of the discipline problem with the children infuriated Jill.  It was all just chaotic frivolity to her, even though it worked.  The children "gained" nothing!  A good leader will engage in a debate frankly and thoroughly, knowing that at the end the best decision will be made.  The Jill's of this world are arrogant.  They have the knowledge but not the wisdom.  Knowing how and when and where to use knowledge, that is wisdom.  Often times, wisdom comes from successful experience over the years, the difference between Jill and I.

ITS NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO, ITS DOING WHAT YOU KNOW

Tony Robbins

Did the children misbehave?  Of course, they are children.  Knowing that they would just retaliate to any punitive punishment, I took the "If you can't beat them, join them" approach.  If a child started to kick a chair, I'd stop what was going on, declare that child the new leader, we'd all get a chair and start kicking it.  That would get old fast, the group would insist we get back to the "Money Toss", "Cooking" or "Scavenger Hunt".



Quoting every thing from Dr. Phil to Paediatrics Studies, Jill would insist that such response be stopped.  The group's decision was not from where correction should come.

THE ONLY TRUE WISDOM IS KNOWING YOU KNOW NOTHING - Socrates

LUCILLE BALL
19 Years of Age

So, what can you do with a "Know It All"?  Don't try to out smart them,  oft times they have an amazing amount of knowledge to reinforce their position.  Try taking a "Time Will Tell" approach.  Let them have their way and put an agreed yardstick on the results.  If they are right, you have lost nothing but gained respect for your fairness.  If it doesn't work, then it's your turn.

ANN LANDERS

The kids loved picking three well known individuals for a discussion.  I'd do research and we'd take about 30 minutes each with the kids being totally involved.  They all "Loved Lucy" but who knew Lucille Ball at 19.

I learned years ago when asked to handle a troubled teen age Sunday School class,  that kids love trying to put the leader on the spot with a game called "Annie Slanders".  They got to choose the article to be discussed.  Yep, sex, marriage problems, parental failures, you name it.  The kids loved it.

Experience can speak for you, you don't have to know it all.

KIDS LOVED SCOOTER RACES

GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR'S

GOD BLESS THE USA